relapse

Longest string of neglect on this bad boy yet but I guess I finally have something worthy enough to record. I was thinking about what neglecting to write in a journal one has promised oneself to keep when I was on the bus to class the other day. It essentially means that the days that you don't write in it are so filled with banality and triviality that they aren't worth remembering. In fact, they're worth purposefully obscuring and forgetting. But enough thinking about that, because today is worth remembering.

It's worth mentioning that the econ exam that I crammed for went well and I ended up getting and A- on it. I'll take that any day considering the exam only had 25 questions, missing two is fine in my book. And today, out of the blue, both Romelie and Monisha decided it would be a good idea to try and hang out with me.

I don't understand what it is about me or my persona or whatever that makes other people have epiphanies on the same day causing them to try and reach out to me. It seems to always happen that I'll go on a streak of not having any human contact whatsoever before arriving at a crescendo where everyone wants to spend some time with me. It's a strange phenomenon, but oh well.

Time with Romelie was surprisingly refreshing, and I finally sampled the sandwiches of the Bistro, something I've wanted to do for a very long time. I don't think I'm completely crazy when I say that Romelie may have had some feelings for me at some point. If not now, at least during the brief period that we talked all the time at the beginning of the year. After I asked her about her boyfriend a bit at dinner, I ended up telling her my story about the near hook up with Anitha several weeks ago, putting some humor into it. She replied by telling me a story about a guy who she made out with only weeks ago, when her and her boyfriend have been together for months at least.

Was she trying to tell me something? I was surprised that she would be so cavalier about telling me about things she did with guys other than her boyfriend. Life confusing I suppose, but I really liked having a friend here and I think there was a good connection there. I came back and considered cruising some porn sites to kill time before I went to bed, but decided that I really didn't have a desire. The stuff on the internet really can't beat the thrill of relating with women in person, and the girls are never as beautiful and enticing as real life is. Once the illusion has been broken, there's really no appeal anymore I guess. At least tonight there's not.

Got sick again, feeling pretty under the weather but I'm excited that Jake will be coming down tomorrow. Hopefully I can rest up enough tonight so that I can go hard with him and Chris tomorrow for his birthday. I'm also dreading dinner a little bit because I'm not sure Chris' dad knows about my transferring. He'll probably try to throw some money at me after dinner if the conversation comes up, at which point I don't know what I'll do. My life is usually full of these kind of ridiculous entanglements. We'll just have to see what happens I guess. Still crossing my fingers and praying that I get into Michigan. Also looking forward to spring break up in Maine, a great idea that my mom had, of all people.

I'm glad I have one parent who is in my corner, even if I can't relate to her on some levels. Family is extremely important, but it's hard to still feel those connections after you have something as earth shattering as a divorce. I still feel those connections with my dad's side, and that's something to really be cherished I think. I feel selfish for not sharing the same kind of feelings with my mom's side, but even God preferred Abel I guess the saying goes. Today was noteworthy, and I hope my days continue to be so.